IT ALL BEGAN WITH AN IPHONE

It all began with an iPhone…

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t?

IPHONEI celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

IPADMy daughter’s birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

IPOD TOUCHSeptember came by, so for her birthday I got my wife an iRon.
IRONIt was around then that the fight started . . .
What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.
This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital by Thursday!

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DIVORCED BARBIE

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?

The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have:

Work Out Barbie for $19.95

Shopping Barbie for $19.95

Beach Barbie for $19.95

Disco Barbie for $19.95

Ballerina Barbie for $19.95

Astronaut Barbie for $19.95

Skater Barbie for $19.95 and,

Divorced Barbie for $265.95.

The amazed father asks:’It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Sir.., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer,  and Ken’s Friends.

WHY I AM DIVORCED

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t
feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband                                                        would be pleasant and say, Happy Birthday!, and                                                             possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, he barely said good morning,
let alone Happy Birthday. I thought…
Well, that’s marriage for you,
but the kids…They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn’t say a word…

So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my handsome Boss Rick, said,
‘Good Morning, lady, and by the way
Happy Birthday! I felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Rick knocked on my door
and said, ‘You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.

I said, ‘Thanks, Rick, that’s the greatest thing
I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!

We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go he                            chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis                          each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office,                   Rick said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day…
We don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?

I responded,’ I guess not. What do you have in mind?
He said, ‘Let’s drop by my place, it’s just around the corner.

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said,
If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’Ok.’ I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,
he came out carrying a huge birthday cake… followed
by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends
and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there
On the couch…
Naked!