YOUR GOING TO DIE

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. 

 “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal.For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.  “Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse.

 Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. “If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.

 On the way home, the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say? ” she answered.”  you’re going to die.

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PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY DIES

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection and trauma complications from being repeatedly poked in the belly. 
He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of 
celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth,
Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies,
and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy
as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. 
 
Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, 
but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 
smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. 
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man 
and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children:
John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven.
He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

 

SUBMITTED BY : A-WEST