A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He’s allowed to say only two words every 7 years. After the first 7 years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words. “Cold floors,” he says.
They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. He clears his throat and says, “Bad food.
They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say… “You’ve done nothing but complain since you’ve been here! “
1. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana.
2. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
3. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is To Go.
4. Sing Along At The Opera.
5. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend
Their Party Because You have a headache.
6. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot,
Yelling Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!
7. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy,
We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.
8. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY,
GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.