TICKETS

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner. 

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IT ALL BEGAN WITH AN IPHONE

It all began with an iPhone…

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t?

IPHONEI celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

IPADMy daughter’s birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

IPOD TOUCHSeptember came by, so for her birthday I got my wife an iRon.
IRONIt was around then that the fight started . . .
What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.
This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital by Thursday!

DIVORCED BARBIE

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?

The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have:

Work Out Barbie for $19.95

Shopping Barbie for $19.95

Beach Barbie for $19.95

Disco Barbie for $19.95

Ballerina Barbie for $19.95

Astronaut Barbie for $19.95

Skater Barbie for $19.95 and,

Divorced Barbie for $265.95.

The amazed father asks:’It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Sir.., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer,  and Ken’s Friends.